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September 10, 2008
Texas Teacher
Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this.
Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?
He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on.
By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.'
She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'
She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so?', like she wanted to.
Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.
No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, 'They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em.'
Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?' He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.'
She will be eligible for parole in a few years.
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks again to Gladys.
Posted by Omie at 12:06 PM | Comments (0)
Not to Be Outdone
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of a copper-wire system dating back 100 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, California scientists dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, headlines In the LA Times newspaper read: 'California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper-wire system and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.'
One week later, 'The Redneck Rebel Gazette' in Senatobia, Mississippi, reported the following: 'After digging as deep as 30 feet in a corn field near Strayhorn, Bubba Johnson, a self taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Mississippi had already gone wireless.
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to friend, Gladys
Posted by Omie at 12:01 PM | Comments (0)
September 9, 2008
Senoirs Are Valuable
We are Valuable!!
We have silver in our hair,
We have gold in our teeth.
We have stones in our kidneys.
We have lead in our feet.
And We are loaded with natural gas!!!
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to Ed.
Posted by Omie at 3:52 PM | Comments (0)
September 5, 2008
Being Retired
Working people frequently ask retired people what we do to make our days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day I went downtown to go to the newsstand for the Wall Street Journal so I could track my investments. I was only in there for about 5 minutes.
When I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I said to him, 'Come on, man, don't you have anything better to do than write a retired person a ticket? Why aren't you out chasing crooks or child Molesters - that's out of your league, obviously!!!
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.
So I called him 'Barney Fife'. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he wrote a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care... I came downtown on the bus. The car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said 'OBAMA in '08.'
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health!
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to funny neighbor, Ed.
Posted by Omie at 2:57 PM | Comments (0)
September 3, 2008
Senior Moment
For all of us who are seniors---for all of you who know seniors---and for all of you who will be seniors. It pays to be able to laugh about it when you are!
Speaking of Senior Moments: Where Is My Paper?
The irrate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.
Ma'am, said the employee, today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered 'til Sunday.
There was quite a pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition. 'So that's why no one was in church today.'
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to Gladys
Posted by Omie at 3:20 PM | Comments (0)