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May 31, 2007
Speeding Ticket
Here's the morning laugh.......
GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING THE OTHER DAY.
THOUGHT I COULD TALK MY WAY OUT OF IT UNTIL
THE COP LOOKED AT MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT.
A Sign That You're Driving Too Fast........
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks Paul!
Posted by Omie at 07:12 PM
May 29, 2007
If Women Controlled the World...
AND Finally......
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to friend, Gladys
Posted by Omie at 11:50 PM
May 28, 2007
God and the Spider
During World War II, a US marine was separated from his unit on a Pacific island. The fighting had been intense, and in the smoke and the crossfire he had lost touch with his comrades. 
Alone in the jungle, he could hear enemy soldiers coming in his direction. Scrambling for cover, he found his way up a high ridge to several small caves in the rock. Quickly he crawled inside one of the caves. Although safe for the moment, he realized that once the enemy soldiers looking for him swept up the ridge, they would quickly search all the caves and he would be killed.
As he waited, he prayed, "Lord, if it be your will, please protect me. Whatever your will though, I love you and trust you. Amen." 
After praying, he lay quietly listening to the enemy begin to draw close. He thought, "Well, I guess the Lord isn't going to help me out of this one." Then he saw a spider begin to build a web over the front of his cave.
As he watched, listening to the enemy searching for him all the while, the spider layered strand after strand of web across the opening of the cave.
"Hah, he thought. "What I need is a brick wall and what the Lord has sent me is a spider web. God does have a sense of humor."
As the enemy drew closer he watched from the darkness of his hideout and could see them searching one cave after another. As they came to his, he got ready to make his last stand. To his amazement, however, after glancing in the direction of his cave, they moved on. Suddenly, he realized that with the spider web over the entrance, his cave looked as if no one had entered for quite a while.
"Lord, forgive me," prayed the young man. "I had forgotten that in you a spider's web is stronger than a brick wall."
We all face times of great trouble. When we do, it is so easy to forget what God can work in our lives, sometimes in the most surprising ways. And remember with God, a mere spider's web becomes a brick wall of protection.
Lord, I thank you for all our Military, and their families. I Pray for your Brick wall of protection, to protect them everyday!!! Amen
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to Debbie (who sends me really good stuff) and her hubby, Bob, (who loves to tease me by sending "dumb blonde" jokes).
Posted by Omie at 02:25 AM
May 26, 2007
God Bless Our Troops
Here is a soldier stationed in Iraq, tending his little plot of yard. He asked his wife to send him dirt (U.S. soil), fertilizer, and some grass seed so that he can have the sweet aroma, and feel the grass grow beneath his feet. When the men of the squadron have a mission that they are going on, they take turns walking through the grass and the American soil -- to bring them good luck.
If you notice, he is even cutting the grass with a pair of a scissors. Sometimes we are in such a hurry that we don't stop and think about the little things that we take for granted.
Upon receiving this, say a little prayer for our soldiers that give and give (and give up) so unselfishly for us.
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to Diana.
Posted by Omie at 01:03 PM
Singles Ad
This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) XXX-0000 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting....
Please scroll down
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Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society.
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to old old friend, Diana. :)
Posted by Omie at 12:53 PM
May 24, 2007
Stolen License Plates
This is true: http://www.snopes.com/autos/theft/gastheft.asp
A woman said her son found his license plate missing so he called the police to file a report. They told him people were stealing the plates to get free gas. Given the rise in gas prices, people have taken to stealing license plates, putting them on their car, then getting gas and running. The gas station will have "your" license plate # and you could be in trouble for "pump and run."
Check your car periodically to be sure you still have a plate. If you should find it missing, file a report immediately!!! Keep an eye on your license plate! Make sure you always know it's there! When the license plate is reported as the "drive off vehicle", it's YOU they contact! Be aware!!!! Be aware of your license plates, most of us never look to see if they're there.
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to Marie.
Posted by Omie at 11:12 AM
Illiterate
1. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere else again.
3. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and smacks included.
4. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
5. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
6. Stock up and save. Limit: one.
7. Semi-annual After-Christmas sale.
8. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
9. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
10. Dinner special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
11. For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
12. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home.
13. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
14. Great dames for sale.
15. Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
16. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
17. Vacation special: have your home exterminated.
18. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.
19. Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
20. For rent: 6-room hated apartment.
21. Man, honest. Will take anything.
22. Used cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first.
23. Christmas tag sale. Handmade gifts for the hard to find person.
24. Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
25. Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
26. And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
27. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
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Having A Baby at 65
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
'May we see the new baby?" one asked.
"Not yet," said the mother.
I'll make coffee and we can chat for a while first."
Thirty minutes had passed and another relative asked,
"May we see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again,
"May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked,
"Well, when can we see the baby?"
"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.
"WHEN HE CRIES?" they demanded.
"Why do we have to wait until he CRIES?"
Keep Scrolling, you're going to love this
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" BECAUSE I forgot where I put him !"
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to good friend, Nancy.
Posted by Omie at 11:00 AM
May 23, 2007
The Big One
Folks, I have thought long and hard about posting this. It is too funny, but I hesitated to post because it is just a little too..... what's the word?.....unrefined?... crude?.... yes, but all too human. Okay, lighten up out there. We are all guilty of embarrassing bodily functions, so let's laugh at ourselves a little.
Copy and paste for the original web page for Confederate Railroad singing this song.
http://denimandlace.50megs.com/1bigone.html
It was a hot Sunday mornin'
Middle of July
The choir was a singin'
'Bout the sweet by and by
Everybody was a swayin'
And sweatin' in the heat
We all bowed our heads down
As the preacher took his seat
My sister and my brother
Stood next to my mother
In the quiet at the close of the verse
That's when daddy cut the big one
At the Horn Lake Mississippi
Missionary Baptist Church
My sister rolled her eyes back
My brother bit his lip
My cousin just behind us
Whispered, "Hey, who let it rip?"
I stuck my face in my shirtsleeve
Stared down at my shoes
Lord, you could hear a pin drop
As we stood there in the pew
Heads were turnin', eyes were burnin'
Momma stuck her nose in her purse
After daddy cut the big one
At the Horn Lake Mississippi
Missionary Baptist Church
He cut the big one
It was a stinker
Then he broke the silence
With a snicker
And us kids started laughin'
'Til I thought we was all gonna burst
After daddy cut the big one
At the Horn Lake Mississippi
Missionary Baptist Church
He said, "The devil made me do it"
Momma said it was the liverwurst
And that's why daddy cut the big one
At the Horn Lake Mississippi
Missionary Baptist Church
Performed by Confederate Railroad
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to friend, Marie, or probably more like Marie's hubby. :)
Posted by Omie at 01:05 PM
May 21, 2007
The Broken Mower
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf - always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Moral to this story: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks again to Carole
Posted by Omie at 08:41 PM
May 19, 2007
How To Hug A Baby
ATTENTION ALL DOGS!!!
THE FOLLOWING ARE IMPORTANT INSTRUCTIONS FOR EVERY DOG TO KNOW
Instructions for properly hugging a baby.
1. First, spy a baby.
2. Second, be sure that the object you spied was indeed a baby by employing classic sniffing techniques. If you smell baby powder and the wonderful aroma of wet diapers this is indeed a baby.
3. Next you will need to flatten the baby before a ctually beginning the hugging process.
4. The "paw slide" Simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.
5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute the difficult and patented "hug, smile, and lean" so as to achieve the best photo quality.
Dogs, if this is properly done, it will secure you a warm, dry, climate-controlled environment for the rest of your life.
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to 80 year old neighbor, Ed.
Posted by Omie at 03:24 PM
May 18, 2007
"Didn't Know Diddly Squat"
The following is a story from the Chattanoogan.com about Kudzu grazing goats maintained by the city of Chattanooga to dine on as much Kudzu as they could possibly want. I got tickled at the guy who said he didn't know "diddly squat" when he first started using goats as lawn mowers, or in this case, forest mowers. You just have to know that "diddly squat" and kudzu are both truly unique southern phenomenon.
Common names for kudzu include: mile-a-minute vine, foot-a-night vine, and the vine that ate the South.
Get Your Goat
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Watch Out, Kudzu. More Goats May Be Coming To Get You Goat Browsing Academy Booked Solid
by Betsy Bramlett
posted May 18, 2007
If you've always wanted to learn all you need to know about goats and then some, you're too late. The first-ever Goat Browsing Academy is booked up solid.
Scheduled for May 21-24 at Greenway Farms, it's a hands-on course designed to provide producers and land owners with a basic understanding of proper management of goats to control unwanted vegetation.
For those not in the know, that vegetation starts with a "k" and ends with a "udzu."
When we started this last year, we didn't know diddly squat. We were shooting from the hip and in a hurry. Now, we've got some time to think about things...solar panels vs. electric fence, for example." ...........
Click on above link for the whole story.
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<3 GrandMom Love
Posted by Omie at 10:06 PM
May 17, 2007
Fish Story
It turned out to be a flathead catfish who had obviously tried to swallow a basketball which became stuck in its mouth!!
The fish was totally exhausted from trying to dive, but unable to because the ball would always bring him back up to the surface. The guy tried numerous times to get the ball out, but was unsuccessful. He finally had his wife cut the ball in order to deflate it and release the hungry catfish.
You probably wouldn't have believed this, if you hadn't seen the following pictures...
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<3 GrandMom Love - Thanks to Carole ~ Please note that I have not checked this "fish story" out with snopes.com so I cannot verify this as a true story.
Posted by Omie at 01:27 PM
May 16, 2007
Why God Made Moms
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Dye it. You know her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to Sis ..... who never reads this blog or even Nora Ephron's blog even though I have sent her links to both. We are just proud of her that she can email. >sigh<
Posted by Omie at 10:31 AM
May 15, 2007
Service Times
Last Sunday morning, our pastor noticed a young boy, about 7 or 8 years old, staring up at a large plaque that hung in the foyer of our parish's small church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The youngster had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy and said quietly, "Good morning."
"Good morning, sir," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
"What is this? He asked, gesturing to the plaque."
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."
Soberly, they stood together staring at the large plaque. Then, with a barely audible voice, trembling with fear, the boy asked, "Which service? The 8:30 or the 10:45?"
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One-question IQ test
Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day.
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself? Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer...
>>>>>>>>>>
He opens his mouth and says. "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses" If
you got this wrong -- please turn off your computer and call it a day.
I've got mine shutting down right now..
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to Marie & Debbie
Posted by Omie at 02:29 PM
May 13, 2007
A Mother's Journey
The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked. And the guide said: "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."
But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."
Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."
And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children, "A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."
And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I've given them strength."
And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light. "And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."
And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them."
And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates." And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence......."
Your Mother is always with you.... She is the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop. She's the place you came from, your first home; and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, not space... not even death!
MAY WE NEVER TAKE OUR MOTHERS FOR GRANTED...
Author Unknown.
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<3 GrandMom Love
Posted by Omie at 06:50 PM
Mom's Day
This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Meyer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here."
Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.
This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.
For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.
This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.
This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.
And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.
This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead.
This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.
This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat. For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.
This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.
This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.
This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomachaches assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away!
This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.
This is for all the step-mothers who raised another woman's child or children, and gave their time, attention, and love... sometimes totally unappreciated!
For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.
For all the mothers of the victims of school shootings.
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.
What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips?
The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home? Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?
The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...
And mature mothers learning to let go.
For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.
Single mothers and married mothers.
Mothers with money, mothers without.
This is for you all.
For all of us.
Hang in there.
In the end we can only do the best we can.
Tell them everyday that we love them.
And pray.
"Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall."
Author Unknown.
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<3 GrandMom Love ~
Posted by Omie at 06:42 PM
May 10, 2007
Tennessee Women
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.
The first man had married a Woman from Colorado and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Alabama. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a girl from Tennessee. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal.
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat, and load the dishwasher.
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<3 GrandMom Love
Posted by Omie at 02:38 PM
He Will Find You
Father John Powell, a professor at Loyola University in Chicago, writes about a student in his Theology of Faith class named Tommy:
Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith. That was the day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders. It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it isn't what's on your head but what's in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped. I immediately filed Tommy under "S" for strange... Very strange.
Tommy turned out to be the "atheist in residence" in my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father/God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew.
When he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a cynical tone, "Do you think I'll ever find God?"
I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. "No!" I said very emphatically.
"Why not," he responded, "I thought that was the product you were pushing."
I let him get five steps from the classroom door and then called out, "Tommy! I don't think you'll ever find Him, but I am absolutely certain that He will find you!"
He shrugged a little and left my class and my life.
I felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line -- He will find you! At least I thought it was clever.
Later I heard that Tommy had graduated, and I was duly grateful.
Then a sad report came. I heard that Tommy had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out, he came to see me. When he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted and the long hair had all fallen out as a result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his voice was firm, for the first time, I believe.
"Tommy, I've thought about you so often; I hear you are sick," I blurted out.
"Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It's a matter of weeks."
"Can you talk about it, Tom?" I asked.
"Sure, what would you like to know?" he replied
"What's it like to be only twenty-four and dying?"
"Well, it could be worse."
"Like what?
"Well, like being fifty and having no values or ideals, like being fifty and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making money are the real biggies in life..
I began to look through my mental file cabinet under "S" where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification, God sends back into my life to educate me.)
"But what I really came to see you about," Tom said, "is something you said to me on the last day of class." (He remembered!) He continued, "I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, 'No!' which surprised me. Then you said, 'But He will find you' I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time.
(My clever line. He thought about that a lot!)
"But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, that's when I got serious about locating God.. And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven. But God did not come out. In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success? You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying. And then you quit.
"Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit. I decided that I didn't really care about God, about an after life, or anything like that. I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable. I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said: 'The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you had loved them.'"
"So, I began with the hardest one, my Dad. He was reading the newspaper when I approached him.
"Dad."
"Yes, what?" he asked without lowering the newspaper.
"Dad, I would like to talk with you."
"Well, talk.
"I mean. It's really important."
The newspaper came down three slow inches. "What is it?"
"Dad, I love you, I just wanted you to know that." Tom smiled at me and said it with obvious satisfaction, as though he felt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him.
"The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me. We talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me."
"It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years.
"I was only sorry about one thing --- that I had waited so long. Here I was, just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to.
"Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn't come to me when I pleaded with Him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, 'C'mon, jump through. C'mon, I'll give you three days, three weeks.'"
"Apparently God does things in His own way and at His own hour. But the important thing is that He was there. He found me! You were right. He found me even after I stopped looking for Him."
"Tommy," I practically gasped, "I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realize. To me, at least, you are saying that the surest way to find God is not to make Him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said that. He said: 'God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him.'
"Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had you in class you were a real pain. But (laughingly) you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing it wouldn't be half as effective as if you
were to tell it.
"Oooh.. ! I was ready for you, but I don't know if I'm ready for your class."
"Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call."
In a few days Tom called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me. So we scheduled a date.
However, he never made it. He had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class. Of course, his life was not really ended by his death, only changed. He made the great step from faith into vision. He found a life far more beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever imagined.
Before he died, we talked one last time.
"I'm not going to make it to your class," he said.
"I know, Tom."
"Will you tell them for me? Will you ... tell the whole world for me?"
"I will, Tom. I'll tell them. I'll do my best."
So, to all of you who have been kind enough to read this simple story about God's love, thank you for listening. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit, verdant hills of Heaven --- I told them, Tommy, as best I could.
If this story means anything to you, please pass it on to a friend or two. It is a true story and is not enhanced for publicity purposes.
With thanks, Rev. John Powell, Professor, Loyola University , Chicago
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<3 GrandMom Love
Posted by Omie at 02:21 PM
May 09, 2007
Sowing & Reaping
A successful Christian business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.
Instead of choosing one of his directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.
He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued." I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO"
One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story.
She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown.
After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.
Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.
Six months went by--still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however, he just kept watering and fertilizing the soil. He so wanted the seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick at his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room.
When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful--in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!
When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!" All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the financial director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"
When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed - Jim told him the story.
The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive! His name is Jim!"
Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new CEO the others said?
Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers.
When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive!"
If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment.
If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
If you plant faith in Christ, you will reap a harvest. So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.
I thought that this was a great story to share with you all.
So my question to you, "WHAT ARE YOU PLANTING AND WHAT DO YOU WANT TO REAP?"
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ I know what you are thinking.... What would have happened if another young executive had also brought in an empty pot? Let me know what you think.
Posted by Omie at 09:21 PM
Remember Me
GET THE KLEENEX OUT!!!!!!!!! Remember Me
Posted by Omie at 08:52 PM
Doctors & Clinics
Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.
The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.
The SECOND sees his family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment, then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week and finally has his surgery scheduled for a month from then.
Why the different treatment for the two patients?
The FIRST is a Golden Retriever. The SECOND is a Senior Citizen. Next time take him to a vet..............
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to 80 year old vetern neighbor.
Posted by Omie at 08:38 AM
May 07, 2007
The Etiquette of Outdoor Cooking
After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to spring and BBQ season. Therefore, it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this outdoor cooking ritual, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine:
1. The woman buys the food
2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the Man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand...
Here comes the important part:
4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL
More routine:
5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation
Important again:
7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN
More routine:
8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes... And most important of all:
10. Everyone PRAISES THE MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts
11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off" and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!
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<3 GrandMom Love - Thanks to Carole
Posted by Omie at 05:59 PM
May 05, 2007
Revised Cake Recipe
MIMI'S STRAWBERRY CAKE
Mix together and beat for about 2 minutes:
white cake mix
l strawberry Jello ( 3 oz. size)
1 cp strawberries, fresh or frozen
4 eggs
1/2 cup of salad oil
1/2 cup of juice or water
Bke 350, for 30 to 35 mins.
FROSTING
1 pkg. conectioner sugar
3/4 stick of softened butter
1/2 cup of strawberry juice or water or milk
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<3 GrandMom Love
Posted by Omie at 09:42 PM
Understanding Engineers
Understanding Engineers - Take One:
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
****
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
****
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept Golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with Him." He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
****
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
****
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The Graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The Graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The Graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
*****
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
****
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
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<3 GrandMom Love
Posted by Omie at 12:29 PM
Time
At three minutes and four seconds after 2 AM on the 6th of May this year, the time and date will be 02:03:04 05/06/07. This will never happen again!
Posted by Omie at 12:16 PM
May 04, 2007
Strawberry Recipes
Several posts ago, I promised to share my strawberry cake recipe on this blog. Well, guess what? I cannot find my batter dripped, torn and ripped, nasty copy of that recipe. It is my daughter's favorite recipe for her birthday cake and I ABSOLUTELY have to find it before her birthday in two weeks!
I have called my sister in California hoping that this thirty plus year old family recipe has survived in HER kitchen.
SOoooo...... this is what I remember of the recipe and I will post the good copy (with correct proportions) should I ever find it in the cookbook cabinet. ....which I dread cleaning out with a passion. >groan<
1 box of Duncan Hines yellow cake mix
1 -3 oz. package strawberry jello gelatin
mix together
add ??? eggs - at least two or three???
(cannot remember but it seems you add 3/4 of a stick of softened butter)
1/2 cup or so of strawberry juice and...
about 1/2 cup of fresh, but mashed strawberries
Bake in preheated oven.... don't even remember the temperature, but probably 350 degrees for about 25 to 30 minutes. Cool
CAKE ICING - Mix up one box of confectioner sugar.....with 1/2 stick or more of soften butter and slowly mix in milk or strawberry juice a tablespoon at a time until you get the right consistency. Ice cake and generously dot ALL OVER with strawberries. ENJOY! :))
When I find the correct recipe, I will inform you of the correct measurements. Meanwhile, honey, bake this at your own risk!!! Disclaimer given and you have been warned. chuckle chuckle :)
Because this is Strawberry Festival time in the next county up, (Rhea) I am posting other good strawberry recipes in which you might be interested.
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Strawberry Shortcake
I never much liked those little sponge cakes shaped like hockey pucks that are sold next to the berries in the grocery. Real shortcake is a melt in your mouth sweet biscuit, home made, and fresh.
2 cups unbleached flour
2/3 cup shortening, or oleo
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup sour cream *
1 tsp. baking soda *
[* or substitute 2 tsp. baking powder & 1/3 cup milk or 1/3 cup mocha mix]
3 baskets strawberries, sliced
3 Tbs. brown sugar
1 cup sour cream [or other topping]
Mix flour, sugar, and baking powder or soda together and cut in the shortening with a pastry wire, or a fork. Add the liquid last mixing with a fork. Adjust the quantity so that all the dry flour is picked up in the dough, but it is not too sticky. Humidity affects the amount.
Turn out onto a floured board. press and fold over 2 or 3 times. Press out to 1/3-inch thick and cut circles with a biscuit cutter, or a floured glass. Bake on cookie sheet in an oven preheated to 350 for 10 - 12 minutes or until golden tan on top. Serve with sliced, brown sugared strawberries and your favorite topping. Great for Sunday breakfast!
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Strawberry Soup --
[This recipe is adapted from one which came from the Beverly Hills Farmers' Market.]
4 cups strawberries, rinsed, hulled
1/4 cup raspberry or currant jelly
1/4 cup orange juice, or more to taste
1/2 cup superfine sugar
2 Tbls. Kirschwasser or Triple Sec
2-3 peaches, peeled and sliced
2 apricots, washed and halved
4-8 mint leaves, washed
Purée berries and sugar in a blender and pass through a sieve. Heat jelly with Kirsch until dissolved. Remove from heat. Add pureed berries and orange juice. Return saucepan to the heat and thin mixture with juice to make a "soup-like" mixture. Heat just until warm -- don't overheat or you will destroy the flavor of the fruit. Ladle the soup into four bowls. In each bowl float half an apricot surrounded by slices of peach and garnished with mint leaves.
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This is a family recipe that I am just throwing in because you will need something to wash down all these strawberry treats. Try it out for your Mother's Day get together.
Mint Iced Tea
1-quart water – Boil
Add 7 teabags and 6/7 sprigs of mint
Steep – 20 minutes, time it
In one-gallon container, add ¾ cups of sugar or ½ cups of sugar, to taste
Add frozen lemonade (small)
And frozen limeade (small)
Fill with water to the top of gallon container.
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four....unless three other people were present." ~Orson Wells
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<3 GrandMom Love :))
Posted by Omie at 02:32 PM
May 02, 2007
Quiz for Fun
This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters " dw" and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter "S."
Answers To Quiz:
1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. Boxing.
2. North American landmark constantly moving backward . Niagara Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. Asparagus and rhubarb.
4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside. Strawberry.
5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. (The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.)
6. Three English words beginning with dw. Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.
7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar. Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh. Lettuce.
9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with "S". Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
LIFE IS A JOURNEY - ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW AND ENJOY THE BREEZE
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<3 GrandMom Love
Posted by Omie at 11:45 PM
Baby pictures
Here are some new Max (grandbaby) pictures.
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<3 GrandMom Love <3 <3 <3
Posted by Omie at 01:46 PM
May 01, 2007
Thanks Guys
Many Many THANKS!!! to the two county policemen that offered and then put on my new license plate tag this afternoon at the Tag and Title office out on Bonny Oaks drive. What a treat! You guys were real Southern gentlemen!
There are still nice folks in this world!
Am grateful.
Posted by Omie at 09:51 PM
The Old Phone
When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.
Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know.
Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time.
My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.
I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. "Information, please" I said into the mouthpiece just above my head. A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.
"Information."
"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.
"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.
"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.
"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.
"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts." "Can you open the icebox?" she asked.
I said I could.
"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice.
After that, I called "Information Please" for everything. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was.
She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.
Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?"
She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Wayne always remember that there are other worlds to sing in."
Somehow I felt better.
Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please."
"Information," said in the now familiar voice. "How do I spell fix?" I asked.
All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. "Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me.
Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.
A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown Operator and said, "Information Please."
Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well. "Information."
I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"
There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now."
I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?"
I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."
I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.
"Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."
Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered, "Information." I asked for Sally.
"Are you a friend?" she said.
"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago."
Before I could hang up she said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name was Wayne?" "Yes." I answered.
"Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called.
Let me read it to you." The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean."
I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.
*****
Never underestimate the impression you may make on others.
Whose life have you touched today?
Lifting you on eagle's wings. May you find the joy and peace you long for.
Life is a journey ... NOT a guided tour.
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<3 GrandMom Love
Posted by Omie at 08:34 PM