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January 07, 2008
Laws of Work
** If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
** A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
** Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
** It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.
** After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
** The more Junk you put up with, the more Junk you are going to get.
** You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
** Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
** When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking
about themselves.
** If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
** There will always be Styrofoam Coffee Cups And Dougnut Wrappers and Fast Food Garbage Cluttering the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride
home from the office.
** Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
** Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
** Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is
supposed to be doing.
** Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
** If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good,
you will get out of it.
** You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
** People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
** If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
** At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
** When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
** Following the rules will not get the job done.
** Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
** When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
** No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
** The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ From the files of Omie (Author Unknown)
Jokes | By Omie | 08:06 PM