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October 10, 2007
Good Stuff
1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't!
2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
3) I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10) Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
11) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
15) God must love stupid people, he made so many.
16) His gene pool could use a little chlorine.
17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.
18) She took an IQ test and the results were negative.
19) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
20) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
24) Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam (seen on Cape Cod)
26) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up. (Amen to that!)
27) Procrastinate Now
28) Rehab Is for Quitters
29) My Dog Can Lick Anyone
32) Finally 21, and Legally Able To Do Everything I've Been Doing Since 15
33) West Virginia: Four million people and 15 last names
34) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.
35) MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT
37) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
38) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
40) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
41) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead
43) POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have nothing to go on.
44) FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
45) HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH
46) A PICTURE IS WORTH A 1000 WORDS, but it uses up a 1000 times the memory.
47) The Meek shall inherit the earth, after we're through with it.
48) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
49) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
50) WELCOME TO SOUTH CAROLINA - Set your watch back 20 years.
51) The trouble with life is there's no background music.
52) The original "point and click interface" was a Smith & Wesson.
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Again, may be a repeat.....author unknown. From the files of Omie.
Good To Know | By Omie | 09:23 PM